nothing is cool.

Q: Did I leave a stovetop burner on?
A: Nearly, but not actually. But let’s rabbit hole based on that, because it is my way.

Q: Did I leave the iron on?
A: Impossible as I haven’t ironed anything in months and it turns itself off. But no, just checked.

Q: Did I unplug the toaster?
A: No, because that is an antiquated, senseless thing to do. Toasters aren’t cunning, vindictive or sentient. YET.

Q: Did I forget to take Junior to boarding, thereby creating a ‘Home Alone 17: Junior Goes Senior!’ scenario?
A: No, but perhaps planting cameras around the house for a future occurrence of this would be fun and lucrative. What mischief!

Portland, prepare for me to be all up in you, but in primarily gentlemanly ways!